STOP!!

Well, it finally went out on me today. My body that is. There has been so much stress in my life lately, and I think I've done a pretty good job of keeping it all together, but this morning I woke up and could tell that something was not right. A strange pain had developed in my knee, so that I couldn't stand up straight. I thought a shower might help, but no. Still no straight leg. But I told myself the same thing I always tell myself "walk it off". Most people, I know, would just listen to the message that their body was screaming at them. Those people might take a day to rest, but me, I have "responsibilities" and "standards" (which I would never hold anyone else to), so I "bucked up" and "bit the bullet" and dragged my ass to work. And I was not there but 30 seconds, literally, when my body totally gave out on me. While changing into my clown pants I was giving myself a pep talk of "this is not cool. You have shit to do. You will not break down", not unlike the pep talk I gave myself the day before that went something like "there will be no crying at work. Get it together." One thing I have found out about my body however, is that there is a point at which it has just had enough. And today was that day. And I am forced to take a mini vacation.
You know, they say that you should be careful what you wish for, and it's true. Just yesterday, as I was having this month's existential crisis, I wished I could get sick. Just for the break. And guess what? My wish was granted. You know, not too long ago, I would have gone in to work tomorrow. But when A told me to take a day off to rest I didn't fight her. I guess I AM learning, I'm just slower than most when it comes to some things. Like my health.
So tomorrow, instead of hobbling around like an eighty year old lady I'll be lying in bed, watching t.v. on my computer, eating Girl Scout cookies. And no one can tell me that's wrong.