Tuesday, April 20, 2010

The key

To happiness?  Fulfillment?  I'm afraid I have neither these days.  Vacation looms large, and that's really great, but in the meantime I feel mired in frustration, sadness and longing.  Longing for that which I thought I had pinned down, though maybe that was the problem.  In the beginning of this latest test I wrote something down:  This year I learned not to rely on someone else for my happiness.  I know that's true, but relying on myself isn't working either.
It's spring now, and it's warmer, and I can see the sun most days.  But I'm spending too much time alone with my thoughts.  I've been trying to get outside more.  I've been trying to learn to walk.  I've been trying to enjoy these last two weeks.  I've been trying......

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